Ranch Hand
Catagory: advice
Dear edrumline,
I have a small problem, Last year i made a horrible decision to replace my right hand with a cup of ranch dressing. At the time i though that this cosmetic surgery would be fantastic, but now i am seeing the downfalls. My sticks are all gross and getting rebound is almost impossible! What can i do?
Dano
Dear Dano,
You probably feel that you have a rare and unique problem, but the fact is, ranch hand is a very common topic of discussion among the e|drumline.com staff members.
There are several reasons drummers pull the old “replace the hand with ranch” routine. The most common, unfortunately, is a lack of self esteem. Sure, a cup of ranch dressing builds your confidence, we all know that. Maybe your right hand is a little weak, you can’t diddle the way you’d like to. So, just replace it with a cup of ranch dressing, and that problem seems to disappear, right?. As you have discovered, however, ranch hand brings with it a whole new series of problems.
Statistics show that one in ten drumliners have considered a hand, cup of ranch swap; of those, one in five have actually attempted this tremendous feat; only one in a hundred drumliners have successful made the swap.
Dano, don’t feel alone, although you wont find them on every street corner, there are a lot of people sharing your burden. The best thing you can do is find a good support group to help get you through this. In the mean time, to help take care of some of the disastrous, unforeseen consequences, here is our advice to you.
To improve right hand (or cup, in your case) rebound, you will need to pierce a hole in the cup; the hole needs to be large enough that the butt of your stick can be inserted. Next, carefully insert the stick, but be especially careful not to break the cup. Finally, once your stick has been inserted, wrap a standard-sized rubber band over the cup so that the stick rests under it. Now you’re good to go.
Oh, one more thing, to tackle the mess the dressing makes, simply wrap the bottom seven eighths of your stick with a product such as GLAD Cling Wrap.
Thanks for letting us help you, Dano, and remember, these are not long-term solutions. We have only addresses the symptoms, not the problem. We’ll send you a list of ranch hand support groups in your area. Don’t give up!
~ e|Drumline.com advisor